


R U Mine?

by Alientree



Category: Blur (Band)
Genre: Awkward Crush, Awkward Sexual Situations, Britpop, Canon-Typical Behavior, Closeted Character, Concerts, Crushes, Drama, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Gay Panic, Gay n that, Gramon, Hotel Sex, Humor, I Can't Believe I Wrote This, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Light Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Nervousness, Original Character(s), Recreational Drug Use, Sexual Tension, blur - Freeform, crossover??, era appropriate homophobia, everyone is a switch
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-12 00:20:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,098
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29251347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alientree/pseuds/Alientree
Summary: (Yes I stole the title from an Arctic Monkeys song, deal with it.)Hello! Welcome to my first fic here! This is basically where Graham has been crushing on Damon for a while and nether one of them know that the other is into guys... yet ;).Lighthearted and fluffyThis is a work of fiction and I don’t own any of the charactersThere’s a gorilaz crossover but I couldn’t resist I just had to put it in lmao
Relationships: Damon Albarn/Graham Coxon
Comments: 16
Kudos: 29





	1. The death of me...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning:just a little smut but nothing graphic, swearing.  
> Hope you like this!

Modern Life Is Rubbish tour-1993

Graham had no idea what was going on. He just tried his best to play the right notes on his guitar, if he messed this gig up then he’d never hear the end of it. He thanked the universe that he actually had a guitar right now to hide the uh... situation he was in. He tried to focus on anything, anything except the singer. Anything except the way he near fucking moaned into the mic and the way he kept glancing over at the guitarist with a look on his face that could only be described as unknowingly seductive. Anything except the man he had denied having a crush on for years. 

Thank god that this was the last song. He couldn’t wait to get this sodding show over with and take care of the state he had gotten himself into quickly and (hopefully) free of embarrassment. He had been quietly cursing under his breath since he’d noticed how bloody hot Damon was acting tonight. It’s not like this hadn’t affected him before, just normally he had more self control than this. Maybe it was that he’d finally come to terms with his otherwise ignored bisexuality or maybe it was the flashing lights that were making the guitarist more lightheaded than it usually seemed to. Either way, his trousers had become worryingly tight now and he could feel himself go a bit weak at the knees every time Damon so much as looked at him.

Finally after a couple of minutes of playing they were making their way off stage. Graham deliberately ran off before the others so that they wouldn’t see his boner straining against his jeans. As soon as he found a room that he deemed far enough away from other humans that no one would disturb him he shoved himself in without even checking which room it was, could’ve been a bloody cupboard for all he cared right now. He leant against the door, breathing heavily and palmed himself through his jeans. He sighed and quickly whipped off his glasses before unzipping his jeans. Everything was going as uh... normal and he was trying to keep relatively quiet but but he could feel himself getting close and couldn’t help moaning Damon’s name. His eyes shot open and he came with a gasp all over his hand which he quickly washed and cleaned himself up.

He hadn’t ever done that before. Of course he’d fantasised about the singer every now and again but he’d never said his name while getting off. He ran his hand through his hair and put on his glasses, composing himself as best as he could. He opened the door and- oh fuck. Damon had been leaning against the door eavesdropping on his wank. Since the door opened inwards he had pretty much fallen over into the room. Graham had never been more mortified.

“What the fuck?!” Graham said, face red from embarrassment.  
“Someone’s enjoying themselves I see,” Damon joked,  
“Just how much of that did you hear?”  
“All of it you tosser.”  
“Are you sure?”  
“No, no I’m not sure I just heard my friend say my name while he’s coming. Of course I’m sure gra!”  
“I’m sorry.”  
“For what?”  
“For being a creep and offending you or some bullshit like that.”  
“Fucks sake it’s 1993 Graham, not the bloody dark ages, it’s fine that your gay.”  
“I’m not gay!” Graham said, a little too loudly.  
“Bi then” Graham glared at Damon but said nothing. This was not at all what he expected but it wasn’t good, he had butterflies in his stomach and not in a fun way. “I refuse to believe your straight after that mate.” Graham looked down at his trainers and cringed at Damon’s laid back tone, this was a massive deal to him, not some joke. There was no point in trying to hide it any more.  
“Fine, I like boys and girls. But if you say anything before Im ready or-“  
“Of course not. I swing both ways too. Don’t worry.”  
“What?!”  
“Mate I literally wrote a song called boys and girls what did you expect?” Damn I’m such an airhead, he’s literally talked about fancying men in interviews before. Graham thought, he felt a wave of something electric rush through him as he noticed Damon staring at his lips, then back to his eyes.

What if I kissed him right now? Graham thought before quickly shoving the thought deep into his brain to make sure that he wouldn’t act in it and make a fool of himself. “Have you ever done it with a guy?” Graham asked.  
“What, sex?”  
“Yeah”  
“Depends what you think of as sex, if you think that giving a blow job to some guy in a club when I was shitfaced or a couple of rushed hand jobs back and forth is classed as fucking then yes.” Graham tried very very hard not to imagine these scenarios... he failed.  
“I’ve never even kissed a boy before...”  
“It’s great, you should try it... in fact-“ The blonde boy leaned in and captured Graham’s mouth in a kiss that was different to anything the guitarist had ever experienced before. His lips were soft but nothing like a girl and he tasted like alcohol and something faintly sweet that Graham couldn’t quite place. Without thinking, his hand travelled up into his hair and one to the small of his back, Damon’s arms looped around his neck and they stayed like that for a good couple of minutes before they broke away.

They were standing with barely any space between them and they were both slightly breathless.  
“I liked that,” Graham said shakily. He could feel the singers warm breath on his neck and it was driving him insane.  
“Blimey, your gorgeous you know that.?” They both chuckled awkwardly, waiting for the other one to make the next move. Damon moved to start kissing his neck and Graham gasped in surprise when Damon gently bit into his skin. This was insane, nothing at all what he had expected. He couldn’t quite believe this was actually happening.  
“Fuck.” He muttered under his breath when the blonde boy bit the exact place that made him shiver all over. Damon whispered in his ear,  
“You’ll be the death of me Graham Coxon.”


	2. As long as it's you.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m warning you now... there will be smut. *hides behind sofa

2 weeks later...

The four of them had just checked in at the kind of disgusting motel they were staying at tonight. The woman at the front desk had said that there were only three rooms available so two of them would have to share. As luck would have it Graham was going to share with Damon and neither one of them was sure how to cope given the incident after the gig a few weeks ago. That hadn’t talked about it since but you could physically feel the sexual tension between the two whenever they were alone together. Really. It was getting ridiculous. It was nearly 1 am when they arrived so they decided to just go to bed. 

Damon dropped his bag and flung himself onto the bed, spreading out taking up all the space deliberately.  
“You’re an idiot.” Graham said bluntly.  
“Yes I am, sleepover?” They laughed and Graham sat beside him somewhat apprehensively he wasn’t sure what his best mate was trying to say with his aggressive eye contact, but it wasn’t good, whatever he was planning.  
“Sleepover? We aren’t 12 year old girls Damon.”  
“So we can’t do each others makeup and talk about boys?”  
“Your not coming near me with bloody eyeliner ever again ok?”  
“I was joking! Are you ok gra?” Graham wanted nothing more than to tell the singer his feelings, to finally know if he felt the same. That night after their concert it felt like he did, yet now he wasn’t so sure. Either way it was killing him not having a clue if the attraction went both ways and for the past couple of weeks Graham’s mind had been in almost constant emotional turmoil.  
“I’m fine, really.”  
“Your not.” God he could be infuriating.  
“What do you want? Do you want me to tell you that you make me feel more than any girl has ever done? That anything you do makes me fall for you a little bit more? That everything about is perfect and that I’ve been in love with you since we were 18? Is that what you wanted? Are you happy now?” 

Graham turned so that he had his back facing Damon, he couldn’t face the blonde right now for fear of breaking down crying. Neither of them spoke for a minute, but it felt as if hours passed.  
“I’m going for a walk.” Graham said quietly,surprised at how together he sounded.  
“I don’t think so.” Before Graham knew what he was doing, Damon had him in a bone crushing hug that sort of hurt the guitarists ribs but he didn’t mind. They both felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off their shoulders.  
“It’s always been you and me, gray.” Damon said softly, clinging to Graham as if he was about to die. When they dragged themselves away Graham kept his hands looped around the singers waist and decided to take a chance, going in for a kiss. After a few minutes of heated snogging they were both breathing heavily and more aroused than they would like to admit to one another.  
“Bloody hell your good at that.” Damon said and graham swooned when he saw the flustered look on Damons face. He really was sickeningly pretty.  
“What, Kissing? You haven’t seen anything yet.” Graham joked, trying to hide how nervous he was about being intimate with his friend. Damon smirked and said in a voice that was a little lower than usual,  
“We’ll see about that... I’ve got a few um... moves myself.” Graham felt a shiver rush through his whole body as Damon licked a line up his neck stopping at his ear before whispering, “you ok with this gra?”.  
“Fuck yes.” Graham said breathily since he had been slightly holding his breath this whole time. Damon smirked and pushed Graham until he was lying on the bed with one hand in his friends dirty blonde hair and the other gripping a pillow next to him.

Damon hovered over him and gulped, looking down at his best mate. If they were about to cross a line he had to know how far Graham was willing to go. He had never tried gay sex before but he had done enough research to know what happened. But he wasn’t sure if either one of them was ready for that yet.  
“Do you want-“ Damon started,  
“Yes.”  
“I didn’t finish I-“  
“I’ll take whatever I can get as long as it’s from you Dames.” Damn. Everything that adorable fucker did made Damon want to spontaneously combust with how much he felt for Graham. He wanted nothing more than to make Graham feel good, to show him exactly how beautiful he really is. 

Graham stared in half shock half desire as Damon helped him tug his shirt off and started leaving kisses all down his slightly lanky body, biting every now and then making the guitarist squirm. The blonde boy clearly enjoyed how responsive Graham was being and grinned as he managed to get his friend to moan loudly as he ran his tongue along the waistband of his jeans.  
“Your gonna be a mess when I’m done with you gra... tell me if you want to stop though I don’t want to screw this up.”  
Graham smiled fondly at him, he found it charming how unsure his friend could seem, even though he’s been around quite a bit if you catch my drift. That smile was quickly wiped off his face as he felt a warm hand slip into his underwear and wrap around his cock. 

A slightly embarrassing whine left the guitarists mouth as Damon began to move his hand, looking up at him with a darkness in his eyes that Graham had barely seen before, especially not in a situation like the one they were in right now. After a few painfully slow strokes of Damon’s hand he stopped and gently tugged on the hem of his trousers, gesturing for Graham to take them off. He tried to get the interfering fabric off with dignity, but it was quite an awkward ordeal considering the position they were in. 

Damon took the chance to get a proper look at Graham’s cock. It wasn’t anything special, but the man it belonged to meant the world to him, which made it completely breathtaking to the singer. He smirked up at his lover, knowing that making him wait was driving him crazy with need, mind full of dirty ideas. If he was going to do this, he was going to do it well.  
“You ok?” Graham was too wound up to coherently answer so he just nodded. What was taking him so long? Before he knows what on earth was going on Damon had taken most of his length into his mouth and was beginning to move his head slowly.  
“Àahh fucking hell oh shi-“ Graham gasped, any logical thoughts leaving his brain so that the only thing there was Damon, and how bloody good this was. 

No matter how lovely this felt, it wasn’t enough. He couldn’t think straight, in fact, he couldn’t think at all. His mind was foggy with lust and his heart was bursting with love. Graham was completely and utterly entranced by the way Damon was looking up at him, acting all innocent. He couldn’t look away if he tried.  
That was, until The singer started to use his teeth. It was only very gentle but Graham completely lost his shit. He felt like his insides were on fire as he let out a lovely strangled cry, one that Damon knew he wouldn’t be able to forget for a long while yet. Graham could feel himself getting close and he squeezed his eyes shut, biting his lip as the blonde boys tongue worked its magic. The guitarist couldn’t help but buck his hips at the intense feeling and yet another wave of arousal rushed through him as he felt Damon’s hand on his thigh, holding him still as best as he could. After about a minute Graham came, moaning a string of curse words as the singer swallowed all of it, a pleasant sunrise to Graham, who, even with girls, hadn’t been subject to many blow jobs. 

Damon rolled over so that he was laying next to Graham, both of them breathless, wiping the back of his hand over his mouth. He looked over to the man beside him. Panting with his eyes closed, seemingly blissed out. Damon loved the guitarists romantic features, his dark eyes and his messy brown hair. Graham was perfect to him in every way imaginable. He leant over and kissed Graham softly, the younger of the two returned the kiss hungrily and Damon was a bit taken aback but definitely turned on by the guitarists boldness. That reminded him of the issue between his legs that he was yet to uh... resolve.

Damon teared himself away from the kiss, tossing his head back as he pressed down in the bulge that had formed in his pants. He slipped a hand into his underwear and and started stroking himself shamelessly. The sound of a low moan got Graham’s immediate attention and he found himself sucking at the singers neck after one look at him. Just the look on Damon’s face was enough to make the guitarist melt. He quickly stopped though, he wanted to see this...

Watching the singer come undone was every bit as wonderful as Graham imagined. He looked like he’d just fallen from fucking heaven. Damon was biting his lip so hard, trying to keep it together, but he couldn’t hold back. His voice fell out of him almost involuntarily, hips twitching and breathing fast. 

“Shitshit holyfuck oahhh” Damon moaned loudly, voice cracking a little, hoping not to have woken anyone up since the walls are quite thin here. He rolled over just in time so that his come wouldn’t get in his shirt, instead it got on the beige-ish sheets. The singer tossed an arm over his eyes and tried to catch his breath, aware of Graham’s enamoured gaze.

“What are you looking at?” He asked, grinning.  
“How are you even real?!”  
Damon chuckled and kissed Graham on the nose, making him blush profusely.  
“I could say the same for you.” Damon replied.  
“Shut up.”  
“Seriously! You look like you should be in a painting at a museum! You mean the world to me Graham.” Graham smiled, making the singer feel a bit weak at how adorable he was.  
“Fuck off. You know I’m bad at taking compliments Dames.”  
“Make me.”  
“Gladly.” Graham said and pressed his lips to Damon’s once again, loving the feeling as much as he did the first time they kissed. He really wanted to see all of the singers body, but had no idea how to ask. He had clearly not yet grown out of his socially awkward teen phase.

“Uh... can I ask you something?”  
“Go ahead.”  
“Right. So. Um... Basically... I uh- and you definitely don’t have to say yes but I want to see you w-“  
“Didn’t quite catch that gra,”  
“Sorry, um... Can I see you naked maybe because, you’ve seen me and I uh- I haven’t seen you yet and I really like you so I was wondering if maybe you-“ Damon cut him off, laughing hysterically and probably finding this way funnier than he should have done.  
“All you had to do was ask. I was going to take a shower anyways.” He kissed Graham briefly once more before hopping off the bed gracelessly and going into the small bathroom connected to their room, closing the door behind him.

Graham wasn’t sure what to do, did Damon want him to go in??? He wasn’t sure if he had the guts to do that, so he opted to wait for him, burrowing into the duvet and closing his eyes, trying to process what just happened without screaming like a little girl.

Ten minutes later, Graham heard the singer come out of the room and sat up abruptly to see a soaking wet Damon standing there with a towel around his waist looking like he was straight out of one of Graham’s secret daydreams. He but his lip and eyed him up and down. Damon smirked and slowly dropped the towel and Graham’s stomach flipped at how fucking gorgeous he was. The guitarist could imagine what he himself looked like right now and he was a little mortified at the undoubtedly horny look that was most likely on his face.  
“Holy shit.” Said Graham, watching a drop of water that was running down Damon’s stomach and resisting the urge to follow its trail with his tongue.  
“Yeah... hate to ruin the moment but I’m freezing my bollocks off here.” He quickly dried himself off, enjoying the way Graham’s eyes roamed around his body as he did so. Damon crawled into the bed next to Graham and wrapped himself around him. “This ok?”  
“You know it is Damon.” They both smiled, happy to finally be in each others arms, and were asleep in seconds.

The next morning...

“Rise and shine wankers!” Alex had stormed in, not having the the decency to knock. It was about 8 am and the sunlight was seeping into the otherwise dark room. Alex opened the blinds, laughing as he heard annoyed sounds from behind him. He turned around and saw Damon and Graham, not wearing any clothes, limbs tangled and-  
“Holy... holy... gay... shit.” Damon rolled his eyes, would this guy ever grow up?  
“Good morning to you too Alex.”  
“OOooooOoOh sorry to walk in on you, you guys were in the middle of... something. I’ll let you two lovebirds get back to your uh... shagging.” Graham was still clinging to Damon as he said,  
“Go away you miserable prick, and no we didn’t have sex.”  
“Well, not exactly.” Damon smirked and Alex’s eyes widened and he grinned manically.  
“Wait until Dave hears about this, he’ll go mental! I did see this coming though. I saw what you were trying to hide at the show the other week Grahammmmm! Don’t try to fuckin deny it I knew you had the hots for Damon. I- ow!” Graham chucked a shoe at the bassist and Damon laughed. “Alright! I’ll leave!” Alex gestured at the two and made stupid kissy noises just to wind them up as he left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you thought homies! -Robin


	3. It really could have happened.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like this part guys! It’s a bit shorter but I wrote it at 2 in the morning so yeah lol. Leave comment ant tell me what you thought! (TW: swearing and smut references I guess)

Graham reluctantly hauled himself out of bed and started getting dressed, yawning. Damon sighed happily and sprawled himself out on the bed more than he already had done, he wasn’t planning on getting up any time soon. Graham looked over at the sleepy singer and rolled his eyes.  
“Cmon Dames, you have to get up eventually.” Graham said, ruffling his hair and earning a contented hum from the other.

The guitarist wandered into the bathroom and went through his usual routine of washing his face, brushing his teeth and secretly debating with himself whether or not he could pull off gothic makeup. He studied himself for a moment, allowing himself a little victory dance, still at a loss how he managed to somehow woo Damon into sucking him off. He wasn’t sure what last night would mean for him and Damon’s relationship, but if it meant that he had even a small chance of becoming the singers boyfriend or something, Graham was up for any sort of drama. He just hoped it didn’t end badly...

When Graham returned to their shared bedroom, Damon was standing in a pair of boxers and a red jumper. He was searching for his trousers that he had thrown somewhere the night before. Graham bent down, picked up a crumpled pair so jeans and threw them at Damon, catching him off guard and causing him to spin around as if he was being stalked by a serial killer.  
“What was tha- oh. Thanks Gra...” He was acting so adorably sheepish and Graham found him completely irresistible. He averted his eyes shyly as Damon wriggled into them. 

They went to go meet the others for breakfast, barely saying a word to each other on their way. This was strange as Damon is the kind of person who finds it easy to just chat your ears off normally. Once they got down Alex and Dave were already there, drinking coffee and eating toast and whatnot. When they sat down Dave burst out laughing and Alex was trying desperately not to.  
“Ha ha. Really mature guys.” Damon said, a hint of a smile on his face. He asked if Graham wanted anything and left to get something from the breakfast bar or whatever the hell you call it. Graham sat there, shifting uncomfortably as the other two were in fits of giggles. After a minute Dave said.  
“I’m not believing it till I hear it from you. So? Did you guys- you know. Do it?” Before he had time to think of a convincing lie, he said something that he would definitely .  
regret.  
“Yes we- we didn’t exactly have.. y’know... the main event. But we did uh... things.” Graham was pretty sure he had gone as red as a tomato on weed as he hid his face in his hands from embarrassment. They both looked at Graham, not exactly surprised, but definitely shocked. 

Graham hadn’t even stopped to consider that they might be homophobic, however he was pretty sure he knew them well enough to know that they were accepting, kind-hearted people deep down.  
“So that’s why your so crap at playing the field! Cos you play on the other side!” Dave said, laughing.  
“Good one mate, but I pretty sure Graham isn’t gay.” Alex said “Remember that time I walked in on him and that girl who looked like Kate Bush last year? Definitely didn’t seem gay there...”  
“Oh so he’s bi like Damon?” Dave replied.  
“Yeah I think so... Oi Damon is Graham bisexual!?!” Alex shouted in the general direction of the singer, making Graham cringe as they received a few disapproving looks.  
“Yeah he is I think.” Damon said as he strolled back towards the others, throwing Graham a wink on his way. Naturally Graham returned his hands to cover his face, groaning in mortification as he heard them start laughing. This was going to be a long day...

He and Damon barely got a chance to be alone together that day, not until right before the show they were playing that night. Damon walked right up to the guitarist and bit into his neck, making Graham yelp in surprise. As Damon’s teeth began to bruise his neck Graham whimpered quietly, letting his eyes fall closed. God, Damon could drive him crazy. After the blonde boy was satisfied with the hickey he’d created he left a trail of kisses up his neck and whispered seductively in Graham’s ear,  
“You didn’t last long last night did you? Shows just how much you wanted it. I’m a little disappointed though... you didn’t give me a chance to draw things out and tease you, I wanted to make you beg for it gra.” Damon chuckled softly and gave Graham an awkward finger-gun gesture before saying loudly, “Good luck tonight mate! Try not to get another stiffie though yeah?” And with that he left, leaving Graham flustered and ridiculously turned-on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed! In the next chapter I’m sending them on an awkward first official date, what do you think?


	4. The table

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’ve decided to call this chapter The Table for reasons for me to know and you to find out :). Writing this chapter nearly killed me I swear to god. I don’t like it. But if you do tell me what you thought! (Please I need validation lmao)

The next week...

London  
England  
Earth  
The solar system  
The universe  
Tuesday  
11:30 am

Over the past seven days Graham had been hornier than he had been since he was 13 and acknowledged his average but fully functional penis. He’d wanked eight times in the first 5 days, then after they returned to London after the tour he’d only gone and done it another 4 times. Thankfully the band had had a relatively uneventful end to their tour, even though Graham and Dave accidentally bought an incredibly large amount of weed at 3 am from a dodgy bloke who could only speak Portuguese, which neither of them spoke. Graham couldn’t say he remembered the encounter, but he took the drummers word for it.

Presently, the guitarist was lying face down on his bed, awake but pretending not to be. He’d been out till god knows when last night at this all-night market he’d found in Camden. He was pretty sure he had bought this cool pair of hand-made converse with little peace signs on the sides, but he couldn’t remember where he’d put them. He rolled over and rubbed his eyes, groaning loudly. He had to go to the first official ‘band meeting’ since they were away and he wasn’t sure if he even knew how to play a sodding guitar anymore. He wasn’t looking forward to this at all, least of all seeing Damon looking like... well, himself. They still hadn’t done anything since the hotel and it was making Graham slowly lose his sanity. They hadn’t even kissed and it was killing him.

Graham arrived at practice about an hour after he said he would, and the others were already fiddling with various instruments or working on lyrics for potential songs and whatnot.  
“Morning.” Graham said groggily.  
“Afternoon more like, it’s nearly one!”Dave said, trying to be aggressive. “Where have you been mate?”  
“Oh piss off you egg.” The guitarist said, slouching in an armchair and trying to play the intro to Friday I’m in Love by The Cure.  
“Egg!?” Alex laughed, and Dave shot a deadly glare at Graham. He rolled his eyes and got back to attempting to play the song.  
Damon started humming the tune adorably as he nibbled on the end of the pen he was using. Graham’s heart melted when he saw him and he hated it. Soppy and emotional like some sort of hormonal teenage rom-com. 

At about 6 pm they decided to call it, Graham and the others kept screwing up and the only one who had any clue what was happening was Damon, but it was easy for him as he wrote the bloody things. They were all frustrated, tired and a little defeated so they decided to conform to British stereotypes by going to the pub. Graham was pretty sure no one genuinely liked the pub, except old football geezers, students with nothing better to do and people who had had shitty days and again, had nothing better to do. Pubs are rather like being alive, Graham thought, pretty crap, but better than the alternative.

An unholy amount of alcohol later, the four of them felt neither better, nor worse, it just didn’t feel like it mattered as much.  
“I, sir Damon of the seven seas of sexiness, have an idea.” Damon sometimes got regal and camp when he was drunk. His friends just go along with it and hope he has the worst hangover ever in the morning because karmas a bitch.  
“And what might that be, my lord?” Asked Alex sarcastically.  
“How do you fancy a little game of truth or dare?”  
“Oh god no, not after last time.” Last time the band played truth or dare they were 21 and one of them ended up getting the train to Scotland out just to spite the others and prove that he wasn’t a wuss.  
“I was in Aberdeen all night thanks to you pricks, it was dark and cold and I couldn’t afford to get the train back.” Alex said sheepishly.  
“And who had to pick you up?” Dave asked, teasingly. Alex mumbled something.  
“Your mum!” Damon wheezed. The four of them decided against truth or dare that night, they were not about to have to call any of their parents.

Graham wasn’t quite sure how it had happened but he and Damon were walking, hand in hand back to the guitarists flat. Damon was very sleepy and was being a complete arse in the cutest way Graham had ever seen.  
“How longggggggg? My feet hurttt!”  
“We’re not too far, it’s just round the corner down there, remember?” He turned around when he felt Damon’s warm hand separate from his cold one. Damon was lying on the pavement.  
“What the fuck are you doing?”  
“I can do what I want this is a free country.” Graham was a bit embarrassed, he apologised half-heartedly to bystanders on behalf of his friend as he motioned aggressively towards the singer as if to say. “Get your ass up right now or I’m not letting you stay at mine tonight.”

Graham managed to get Damon to move after about 10 minutes of mortification. He leant against one of his kitchen counters, watching Damon throw himself on to the sofa and fall asleep. He went over to his sleepy friend and stroked a thumb across his face, when he was asleep he looked even more angelic than he normally did. Graham covered hi with a blanket and smiled at him fondly before heading to bed himself.

9:15 am

“What the hell am I doing here?” Graham was in his kitchen, trying to be quiet to not wake Damon as he made a cup of tea. He spun around to see a very disheveled and confused looking Damon who looked, admittedly, like a massive pile of shit.  
“Oh... how bad do you feel.”  
“Out of ten? An 8 or 9 easily.”  
“Nasty, are you gonna throw up?”  
“I don’t think so... could murder a cup of tea though.” Graham made them both tea and they sat down on the sofa in a somewhat awkward silence. 

Damon was trying quite hard not to notice that Graham was shirtless. But he couldn’t help peeking a little. He was annoyed at himself for being so silent, why couldn’t he ducking speak to his own best friend?! It was strange, how it felt to have it confirmed that his feelings for the guitarist were mutual and he wanted to make a move but he couldn’t for three main reasons.

1\. He probably looked terrible.  
2\. If they were going to be doing any kissing he planned on not having morning breath.  
3\. He was afraid that perhaps what Graham wanted was a one time thing, rather than ‘friends with benefits’ or possibly even boyfriends.

It felt like hell for Damon since he’d never had much trouble in the romance area, admittedly he’d barely tried anything with the same gender but he was finding it harder than with women without a doubt. He didn’t want to do in too strong, but he couldn’t go on with this.

“Fuck it...” Damon thought out loud.  
“What?” Graham asked as he took a sip of tea.  
“Do you... want to... like-“  
“Just say it mate.” Graham laughed, trying not to worry about what on earth Damon wanted. Damon groaned and covered his face, peeking through his fingers to look at Graham.  
“Do you want to fuck me?” He asked quickly, the words tumbling out of his mouth. Graham’s eyes widened and he almost spat out his tea in surprise, resulting in him coughing and choking out a,  
“Wha- what?!”  
“I’m not sayin it again!”  
“You...” Graham lowered his voice, “You want me to uh, fuck you...?”  
“Maybe... I don’t know! Not now anyways I just wanted to see if uh... that was on the table or not!”  
“I didn’t even fucking know there was a table!”  
“Fine! If there’s not one then that’s... fine.”  
“Fine then!” A moment passed. Both of them scowling, embarrassed.  
“I mean... we could always uh... get a table... and then we could put things on it.” Graham said, not making eye contact with the singer.  
“Could we? Awh that’s amazing!”  
“Yeah don’t milk it.” They chuckled and ended up spending the rest of the day together walking around the city and getting lost in the rows and rows of shops.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LEAVE A COMMENT OR ILL BITE YOU


	5. Bromance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So it’s been a minute... I kind of like the way this chapter turned out, embarrassing situations are so fun to write lmao. Anyways enjoy your drama I guess :)

They were sat in a booth at a bog standard indie oriented cafe talking about the American grunge scene. Unsurprisingly, Damon was a massive Hole fan. Nirvana was more Graham’s cup of tea.

“Blimey, you have a type dont you?”  
Damon smirked.  
“What’s that supposed to mean?”  
“Blue eyes, blonde, creative type, sound familiar?”  
“Damon I don’t fancy Kurt Cobain!”  
“Of course you do! Everyone fancies Kurt Cobain just a little bit!”  
“What, even lesbians?”  
“Well I’m not a lesbian so I wouldn’t know would I? How can you not find Kurt ridiculously attractive though.”  
“I mean I guess he’s sort of cute but I-“  
“I fucking knew it!”  
“Shut up you dickhead.” Graham grumbled, rolling his eyes.  
“Your the dickhead.” Damon just had to have the last word didn’t he.

~

Graham was shoved against the wall as he fumbled with unlocking the door behind him. He ripped himself away from the kiss, frustrated.  
“Cant get this bloody door open!” Damon chuckled and pulled Graham closer, attempting to kiss him again, only to get shoved away playfully. 

When Graham finally managed to open the door to his flat he pulled Damon inside aggressively by his t shirt,  
“Blimey Gra! I know you can’t resist me but you don’t have to manhandle me! Well, unless...”  
“DAMON! NAUGHTY!” Graham joked half seriously, going into his kitchen, opening the fridge. “So do you want anything?” Damon hopped onto one of the counters, crossing his legs.  
“Yeah, you.” He said mischievously.  
“No, I mean to eat.”  
“Yeah, you.” Graham shot him a look that could kill, trying not to think about how his body was practically buzzing with anticipation. He really really wanted Damon and could tell he wanted him back. This was confirmed when he felt arms snake around his waist from behind him. 

He was startled at first but soon relaxed and a shiver ran down his spine as Damon started kissing his neck.  
“Ah! That tickles stop!” Graham squirmed out of his grasp, laughing.  
“You’re so cute.” Graham was blushing his face off. He turned around and found his hand on Damon’s face, running his thumb along his cheek and studying him. The singers hands were holding his waist, subtly moving down towards his hips. When Graham noticed he gasped a slightly, before kissing Damon fiercely. As they kissed it was like everything fell into place, lips moved seamlessly together and hands roamed around each other’s bodies. The guitarist let out an undignified sound and mumbled a sorry between kisses. Damon stopped with the snogging and shook his head.  
“Don’t be sorry that was uh... that was hot.” 

He peppered kisses down his neck, making Graham giggle and squirm a bit.  
“You know I’m ticklish you prick!” I  
“That’s kind of the point gra...” Damon chuckled.  
“Ah shit!” Graham squeaked as he felt the singer bite him, then suck on the same spot. “You’re not a fucking vampire Damon-“ he cut himself off with a breathy moan as the singer bit into his neck again. His hands were tangled in dirty-blonde hair, tugging sometimes. Every second that went by, a new flash of heat rushed through Graham and it was becoming unbearable.  
“Right that’s it,” Graham said and pushed Damon away, “Come on then!” He yanked the singer towards his room before shoving him down on the bed. Damon was grinning manically as Graham claimed on top of him, pausing to catch his breath.

Graham took a deep breath, “Sorry I- I’m a little overwhelmed right now.”  
“It’s alright, I’m nervous too but we both- want this... right?”  
“Yeah yeah of course... I- fuck I want you so much.” With that in mind Damon somehow managed to flip them over so that he was on top.  
“You have no fucking idea how you drive me crazy, making me wait for ages. Your addictive, god I want you to fuck me... or vice versa, I’m not fussed.” Being kissed by Graham Coxon was his favourite way of being told to shut up ever.

After about two minutes they were both only in their underwear, and still kissing. Graham had ended up on top, practically straddling the singer as he leant down to kiss him hungrily. They exchanged little sounds which only fuelled the other. Every time their crotches touched it was like an electric shock so strong it was making Graham a bit lightheaded. This was way too much... or not enough, he couldn’t decide... Nope it was way too much. Graham tugged away from Damon, breathing heavy and tears threatening to prick at his eyes.

“Shit what’s wrong? Are you okay? Did I do something gra? I’m so so sorry.” Damon was panicking, mind going at a thousand miles an hour. He hated the idea of hurting Graham more than he hated Wonderwall, and that’s saying something.  
“I’m sorry Dames this is just- it’s just too much... I cant- I don’t know how to-“ Mind clouded with relief, Graham let out a shaky breath as he was pulled into a tight, comforting hug.  
“If you aren’t comfortable with this that’s absolutely fine, we don’t have to do anything if you don’t want to, yeah?”  
“No no I- I do want to... it’s just,” Damon nodded, understanding and kissed the guitarists shoulder, making him sigh. 

A few minutes of silence passed, they were completely content being held by the other. From the outside it could have almost been platonic, but for them it was so much more. In that perfect moment of stillness it felt as if time just stopped and the only thing in the world was their souls, flawlessly intertwined. 

“D’you fancy some pizza?” For someone who frequently wrote meaningful songs, Damon sure knew how to ruin a moment. However Graham was hungry, and not just for the singer.  
“Yeah go on then, I’ll ring them.” Graham got off him and threw on a shirt before making his way out of the bedroom. Damon rolled over and shut his eyes, sighing heavily and letting his mind mull over what had just happened, he thought he had handled the situation rather well... right? Graham appeared at the door, saying he was going to pick up the food he ordered. Damon couldn’t bring himself to move just yet so he opted out of going with him. After promising not to ‘snoop’ the singer heard Graham leave. He was alone... in Graham’s flat... this was going to be interesting...

It was a chilly November night and Graham could make out a few stars as he wandered back to his building. He felt surprisingly calm given what had just happened, but he didn’t question it. Probably best to cut down on the overthinking, he thought. 

When Graham got back to his building he made his way up a few flights of stairs, fingers starting to go numb from the cold. He awkwardly opened the door and put the box down in his kitchen.  
“It’s bloody freezing out there,” He said loudly, intending for Damon to hear,. “You better like what I got ‘cause there’s no way I’m going out in that again.” 

No response.

“Damon? Are you ok mate? I- oh my god!” Graham had made his way into his room and saw something he was not at all expecting to. His eyes widened and his mouth fell wordlessly open as he took in the sight before him. Putting it bluntly, Damon was fucking himself on his fingers and had a hand limply around his leaking cock. His eyes were closed and he was letting out quiet grunts as whimpers that made Graham’s stomach do somersaults. He’d noticed when Graham walked in but that definitely wasn’t stopping him, in fact, it seemed to have turned him on even more. His skin was flushed and he was obviously close, body tense and legs trembling. All Graham could do was stare, he kind of felt like he should leave and that watching him was kind of wrong, but as he started to back out of the room, Damon shook his head and managed to utter,  
“Stay gra, oh fuck please stay I-“ then he was back to being a moaning mess. 

The guitarist couldn’t quite shake that his best friend and now love interest had his fingers in his asshole... and liked it.  
Graham’s ex had been interested in ‘pegging’ him. He denied his intrigue, out of fear more than anything. He’d been told it hurt like hell and he didn’t have a great pain tolerance. However seeing Damon, in the throws of pleasure like this, he sort of wanted to try something like it. Graham was still trying to process the, well, obscene situation when Damon came. He came hard, really hard and Graham wasn’t sure what to do with himself in the state of semi-arousal he was in. The guitarist stumbled out of the door, words slurring into a half-hearted apology, slamming the door behind him.

“Shit shit shit shit fucking hell.” Graham muttered, grabbing a slice of pizza from the cardboard box sitting on his table. He wasn’t particularly hungry anymore, what with the butterflies that seemed to be rampaging through his stomach, but he needed to do something,anything to distract himself from thinking about what he’d just witnessed. Soon enough, Damon stepped out of the room, wearing a shirt and his boxers, cheeks flushed and hair a mess. He stood there, staring at Graham. He had no idea what to say... I mean, what exactly are you supposed to say to someone who just walked in on you wanking in their bed. Damon opened his mouth to say something but Graham beat him to it.  
“What’re you doing standing there gawking at me for?”  
“Sorry, I just thought maybe I-“  
“I think it’s best if we just forget that ever happened, uh...”  
“Yeah maybe.” Damon studied a bit of wallpaper that was peeling off... he wasn’t one to greet embarrassed often but for some reason he just wanted the ground to swallow him up.

Damon thought it best to not stay at the guitarists apartment that night, he’d just about had it with the painful situations and did not want to risk any more. Graham was somewhat relieved, over the past couple of days it was as if his emotions were constantly at breaking point and it was pretty exhausting. Right now all he wanted was some time alone with his thoughts, in hindsight it probably wasn’t a great idea to leave Graham Coxon alone with his thoughts, not to mention substantial amounts of alcohol.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments are appreciated homies :))


	6. Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HELLO EARTHLINGS sorry it’s been a while, my wifi has been absolute shite recently but anyways... here’s your chapter.
> 
> lol also smut warning hehe

Graham ran a clammy hand through his hair, they were about to play for some tv gig which was supposed to be starting soon, and Damon was taking his time to say the least. The guitarist was pacing up and down in the small dressing room and the other two were seated on an old tatty sofa.  
“Who does he think he is? Thinks he’s so cool doesn’t he? Swanning in ‘ere whenever he damn wants! If he’s late I will personally make sure he dies.”  
“Good luck finding a new singer once you’ve murdered him.” Alex mumbled, pushing his long hair out of his face for what seemed to be the millionth time that day.  
“They’re starting in three minutes mate, but he’ll be here.” Dave said in an attempt at reassuring Graham. 

A moment later, as if on cue, Damon rushed in, swearing under his breath as he quickly sat in front of the mirror in the corner and started applying some eyeliner. The others exchanged a few confused looks, but didn’t say anything. It looked sort of painful, the way Damon was pulling at his eyes and filling the edges with deep black, however it Graham had to admit it looked pretty cool.  
“Where have you been you bell-end?!” He exclaimed, pushing his glasses up.  
“Doing things, y’know.” He gestured at nothing in particular and continued with poking his bloody eyes out. Graham decided not to question whatever ‘things’ Damon had been up to.

~

That night they were set to play Popscene and Oily Water. Everything was going fine and Graham was doing his normal thing of looking a bit moody and shy, hiding behind the thick frames of his glasses and Damon was doing his normal thing of dancing around like a lunatic, posing at the camera and persuading the entire nation to fall for him. The guitarists new tactics that had become unofficial rules in his mind were to not look at the singer. At all. Especially when they were on live Saturday night telly. He kept himself focused on making sure what he played felt and sounded right. He’d been pretty impressed with his willpower in the past few shows since not getting all flustered was becoming so much harder, even more so as he knew that Damon wanted him back. A bit too much if anything. Graham let himself sway a little to the dreamy chords of their last song, getting sucked into the music’s metaphorical current.

The song ended and Damon kind of swished off of the small stage, still in the zone and looking like some sort of strange floaty goth thing. The guitarist was pretty sure he was high, not massively so but just enough to not care about the world around you so much. Graham smiled fondly and made his way off with the others and whatever show they’d found themselves on cut to adverts. 

Alex had left with a short blonde girl with spiky hair and Dave decided to chat with the presenter about something, apparently they went to school together when they were nine and ‘had a lot to catch up on’. So, yet again, Damon and Graham were alone together. Courtesy of their useless bandmates.

“You look cool, with your... mascara n that.” Damon grinned at the awkward compliment.  
“Thanks gra! You’d look well fit with this on, people would be fancying you left right and centre! Girls like this.” He pointed at his face.   
“I can’t believe you’re using this as an excuse to try and turn me into a drag queen Dames.” Graham laughed quietly. “Plus I’d much rather someone else fancy me right now...” He caressed Damon’s face, allowing himself a bit of pride when he saw a blush creep onto his face. He swatted Graham’s hand away playfully, sitting down on the old sofa with an exaggerated sigh. 

“Your so lovely gra, probably not as pretty as me let’s face it, but your definitely more handsome.” Graham chuckled, sitting cross-legged beside Damon.  
“Should I be taking that as a compliment?”  
“Yes. Now, kiss me.”  
“Um, okay.” Graham leant in and pecked his lips quickly, wanting to wind the singer up a bit.  
“Oh come off it! Gimme a proper one, I’ve seen what you can do.” Graham rolled his eyes and kissed him hard on the mouth, Damon sighed into the kiss and happily kissed back, matching Graham’s eagerness. He loved the way his friends dark brown hair felt in his hands, he loved how soft and pink his lips were, he just loved how it felt to be kissing Graham, properly, with no denial or hard feelings. Calloused fingertips traced feather-light patterns on his neck, sending shivers down the singers spine. Another hand gingerly lifted up the back of his shirt and pulled him impossibly closer by his lower back. Graham is way better at this than he’s given credit for, he thought. He tugged at Graham’s hair, earning a little gasp. Damon pulled away for a moment, mentally taking a picture of the gorgeous look on Graham’s face, and gently took off his glasses, setting them on a little table near to them. The guitarists eyes fell shut and he felt all warm and fuzzy as Damon lightly kissed his forehead. The singer was a bit shocked when he realised that he was pretty much sitting on Grahams lap now, not that he minded, he had just expected him to have slowed things down by now... If anything it felt like he was speeding things up. He crashed his lips into Damon’s, biting his lower lip gently, making the singer shudder. 

“Wait, gra stop it, I’ve- I wanna do something. Wait there.” Damon managed to say between kisses. He picked up his bag from the other side of the room and slowly made his way back towards Graham, smiling when he saw the dread in his eyes.  
“What’re you doing Dames I-“ Damon had in his hand the same eyeliner pencil he had been using before the show. Graham flinched when it got too close to his eye for his liking.  
“Stay still or I’ll poke your eye out!”  
“I thought we said we’d never do this again...”  
“Trust me you’ll love it, really. Your gonna be like Adam ant but more geeky looking, y’know?” Graham rolled his eyes and fidgeted nervously. He froze up when Damon instructed for him to look up and not blink as he filled in right under his eyes.  
“Okay now close your eyes and don’t move or I’ll mess it up. Ok?” Graham did what he said and shut his eyes, getting used to the strange feeling. His breath hitched when he felt Damon’s knee touch his crotch, was that an accident? Damon did it again but this time more sure of himself making Graham shift the way he was sitting a little.  
“I said stay still.” Okay he was definitely trying to get him all hot and bothered. Well, Graham thought, two can play at that game. He smirked when Damon pressed against him again, noticing how he felt a lot more confident when he had his eyes closed. The guitarist was almost completely hard now and he was biting his lip so hard he swore he could taste blood. 

He heard Damon clear his throat.  
“All done.” Graham got up and looked I’m the mirror, he really did look like a slightly nerd-ish new romantic.  
“Wow, I look alright don’t I?” Graham said matter of factly, studying his reflection  
“More than alright, I’d let you fuck me into another dimension looking like that!” They laughed, even though they know Damon hadn’t been joking. Out of nowhere, Graham was being yanked back to the sofa by his overexcited friend. Damon sat down, bringing him down with him and looked at the guitarist expectantly. Graham panicked, fumbling around in his brain for a way to get out of this. He was still feeling the effects of what his friend had been doing to him a moment ago, so focusing on anything other than his growing lust was a challenge at this point. 

Just when the guitarist was sure that he was about to chicken out, Damon somehow got on top of him and pinned his wrists above his head. His fringe was hanging over his face so you could only see a little of his sleepy blue eyes and his lips were parted, breathing shaky. Graham didn’t have time to overthink before Damon’s lips were on his, exactly where he’d been wanting them. After a few seconds the singer eagerly started exploring Graham’s mouth with his tongue. His free hand never staying still for long, he wanted to make sure he knew all the places on the guitarists body that made him squirm and gasp. He pulled away and lazily kissed along Graham’s jawline, then his neck, catching his earlobe between his teeth earring a few muttered curse words. 

“Gra, don’t move ok?” Graham nodded and Damon helped him slide off his jumper, taking off his shirt as well and giving him one last peck on the lips before he tiptoed to the door and stood a chair against the doorknob as a makeshift lock. “Better take ‘em off too.” He said pointing at Graham’s trousers.  
“I thought you said not to move.”  
“Smart arse..” The guitarist rolled his eyes and tugged his jeans off, along with his underwear. “Wow, Graham Coxon making a bold move, never thought id live to see the day.”  
“Come ‘ere you teasing git.” 

Damon kissed him chastely on the lips before putting a couple of his fingers in his mouth. Graham’s eyes widened and he visibly scared.  
“Are you sure about this?”  
“Why not? I mean unless you don’t want to...”  
“Um, alright. Just- just be careful yeah?” Damon nodded and continued in literally sucking his fingers. The guitarist felt it was sort of gross to watch Damon doing well, what he was doing. However it did turn him on and the sensation of the rough fabric of Damon’s trousers against his aching cock was almost too much to handle.   
“You’ve gotta uh... put your legs up.” Damon said, cringing at the painful statement.  
“Right...” Graham answered, hesitantly spreading his legs, praying for this bit to be over. 

Graham wasn’t nearly as tight as the singer had expected so he’d managed to prise him open relatively quickly, although he still hadn’t found his sweet spot. He really hoped it wasn’t hurting too much as Graham had had his brow furrowed and had been biting his lip since they started. He pushed two fingers in as far as they would go and tentatively felt around a bit. Suddenly Graham’s eyes shit open and he squeaked in surprise. Damon smirked and found it again, making the guitarist moan, voice cracking in a way that Damon found strangely sexy.

“Mmf, dames I’m not gonna last- you should probably slow d-down.” Graham just about said trying his best to control himself as Damon repeatedly pressed against his spot. The singer immediately pulled his hand away from his ass and took off his remaining clothes in a hurry.

“Do you have a condom gra?” He asked. Graham reached down, fumbling for his jacket, he always kept one in his wallet for ‘emergencies’. He’d never expected to actually have to use the emergency condom since most of the sex he had wasn’t as spontaneous as this but life is full of surprises. He handed it to Damon, looking away shyly as he put it on. He clumsily lined himself up to his entrance and slowly started to push himself in. “Ah! Fuck that hurts!” Damon stopped abruptly, terrified of injuring Graham.  
“What is it? Are you ok gra?” He said breathlessly. Graham gulped and took a deep breath.  
“Why don’t you let me uh... y’know.”  
“Oh... blimey Graham I- ok.” Graham grimaced at what he was about to do. He spit into his palm, making sure it was properly wet and gave Damon a few slow strokes, making it all slippery. He let out a low moan when Graham wrapped his legs around his waist. He gave the guitarist a look, asking for permission. Graham nodded and Damon slid in easily. Graham winced in discomfort at first but as he got used to it he felt pretty damn good. 

Using all the restraint he had, Damon gently rolled his hips, grinning when he the guitarists eyes roll back and a quiet moan escaped him. He did it again, this time harder, hiding his face in the crook of Graham’s neck. He set up a steady rhythm, a strained cry forcing its way out of him whenever Graham involuntary fluttered around his cock. Damon was nibbling at the guitarists neck, creating another mark right below the almost faded one from last time, he liked the idea of Graham having a physical reminder of this moment, something that would make him all cute and flustered in awkward situations. When the sounds Graham was making became more frequent and he was trembling all over, Damon could tell how close he was. He whispered into his ear.  
“I don’t want you to come till I say Graham, understand?” The guitarist huffed impatiently but nodded, biting his lip and closing his eyes.

The singer picked up the pace, groaning as he felt Graham’s cock against his stomach. From that touch alone Damon could see how desperate he was and that really fucking did something to him. His breath hitched and his hips stuttered as he came, moaning a strangled ‘fucking hell’.

When he’d composed himself somewhat, he smiled when he saw that Graham was still of the edge, brain filling with naughty ideas.  
“Awe gra... do you want to come?”  
“Please Damon, quit the teasing...” He smirked and pulled out of Graham, making him groan in frustration. He made a face as he threw the condom in a bin which was conveniently placed pretty near by. Damon had an idea, slightly risky but still good. He apprehensively swirled his tongue around Graham’s stomach, hips and pretty much everywhere s where he wanted. He looked up at the guitarists face, he’s gone a bit red and his hair was sticking up randomly. Catching him by surprise, Damon took his whole cock into his mouth, sucking and starting a fast rhythm. He’d barely even started when Graham came with a choked moan, his entire body shuddering. Damon swallowed as much as he could but pulled off and coughed a bit, Graham had startled him a bit by coming so quickly but he couldn’t complain, not after seeing Graham, breathless and grinning. Damon felt as if he could’ve cried right then. He honestly thought that Graham was the most gorgeous person he’d ever seen, he always had been, even when they were kids Damon knew he loved him. He kissed him soundly, smiling against the guitarists lips in a soft, sweet kiss. Everything was perfect.

Then there was a knock on the door.

“Shit.”  
“Shit!”


	7. Love comes at a cost

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry this took so long to update!! I’ve been feeling pretty unmotivated recently and this was really difficult to write for some reason, but I added an oc and she’s pretty cool I guess.
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated <3 -R

“Um... Graham? Damon? We have to leave guys!” The muffled sound fo Dave’s voice from outside said. Thank god it was only him, Damon swore he’d almost had a heart attack when he heard him knock.  
“Don’t come in!” Graham shouted, voice a little higher than it was normally.  
“Right... well we have to be out of here in 10 so yeah, see you tomorrow then.” They heard faint footsteps and once he was out of earshot they collapsed into fits of giggles.   
“Oh my- that was so embarrassing!” Graham said once he’d calmed down a bit. Damon was still laughing breathily.  
“Please. It was only Dave! Even so, he knows that we... y’know.”

They hurriedly put their clothes back on, letting a mild sexual tension settle between them as they did so. They left hand in hand and exchanged a could-pass-for-platonic kiss as they went their separate ways. The singer was hoping for more of a kiss than that but a woman holding a camera who looked suspiciously like a journalist had her eye on them, with the power to ruin their image with a single photo if she wanted. 

That was exactly the problem. Damon knew that the world had progressed hugely since he was a kid in terms of lgbt rights and that, however there were still many people who don’t accept it. He was fully aware that if he and Graham told the world about them being more than friends everyone would assume he was gay. In his entire life he’d known 3 people who identified as bisexual, one of which being Graham, and a lot of people don’t even think a person can swing both ways. Part of him loved the idea of shocking others, wanting to stand out and not conform to stereotypes. However part of him desperately wanted to blend in, for 14 year old girls to fancy him like any other boy band celebrity.

He told himself not to overthink things, that he and Graham would go at their own pace and only tell people once both of them were ready. The guitarist made Damon happier than anyone had ever done before and that was what mattered. The singer didn’t believe in soulmates, but if he did Graham would be his one way or another. 

He walked into his apartment, slamming the door behind him, searching his kitchen for something to eat. He and Alex had been sharing for about a year, it was supposed to be temporary but Damon couldn’t really see himself moving out for a while yet. Either way, Alex was an okay roommate, all things considered.  
“Alex I’m making pasta do you want some?!” He called, filling a saucepan with uncooked spaghetti. The bassist didn’t reply but he heard something that came from the general direction of his bedroom so he assumed he was in. Once he’d finished making the food, the singer split it and put it in a couple of bowls. 

Damon knocked on Alex’s closed door, starting to get a little concerned since he was usually a pretty loud guy, fun but very loud.  
“You in there mate?” He asked. All he got in return was a weird sort of squeak which definitely didn’t sound like him at all. Damon jumped a little when all of a sudden Alex opened the door a little, sticking his head out, clearly not wanting the singer to see what was inside. “Do you mind? I’ve got a girl in here.” Alex said in a shouting-but-whispering voice.  
“Oh. Are you with that girl who had the kind of sort of funky hair?”   
“Thanks! But can you like... piss off? We’re in the middle of something right now!” He heard someone with a strong Scottish accent say from inside.  
“Yeah. What she said.” Before Damon could reply the door slammed in his face.   
“Thanks a lot...” He muttered under his breath and settled on watching re-runs of some old reality shows he hadn’t seen in years.

After the 3rd episode of ‘blind date’ Damon had just about had enough of misogyny and dumb pop culture for one evening and was just about to switch channels when he heard the front door close behind him with a click. He hadn’t even noticed when Alex had said goodbye to the girl at the door and Alex was sauntering over towards him, flaunting the scrap of paper in his hand.  
“Guess who got her number?” Alex said in a sing-song voice. Damon rolled his eyes, sighing.  
“Who?”  
“Me bitch!” Alex sat down next to him, grinning ear to ear. From experience, The singer knew that Alex was rarely this bewitched by a girl, he was normally the kind of guy who barely got past the first date. “She’s Scottish and she’s a DJ, how cool is that?”  
“What’s her name?”  
“Kat, she’s brilliant. Did you see her? She’s got eyes like Bowie’s, one blue one green. And don’t even get me started on her tits I-“  
“Woah, I’ll just stop you right there mate!” Damon cut him off since the conversation was on the cusp of embarrassing. He felt incredibly tired all of a sudden, a dull sense of frustration and incomplete-ness washing over him like a bucket of ice water. Damon wished that Graham was a girl, or that he himself were a girl, at least then the thought of kissing in public wouldn’t terrify the singer. Love in all its forms comes at a cost, but why should that cost be so much larger simply because of which stupid gender binary your partner fits into?

“I’m going to bed.” Damon said, yawning and heading into his bedroom. Alex nodded and went back to flipping through the various channels looking for something vaguely interesting to watch.

~

For once, Damon had seemed to wake up on the right side of the bed. The first thought of the day was the memory of those pathetic little ‘ah ah ah’ sounds Graham had made last night. He bit his lip and smiled, he hadn’t even opened his eyes yet and somehow he was already in a good mood. 

He yawned and threw on a jumper since the mornings were getting colder and colder as winter came around. Wandering out of his room pressing the button on their phone on his way, he started making a much needed cup of tea. There was a message from Kat already, he couldn’t blame her for being keen on Alex, even Damon had to admit he was very good looking.  
“Hi Alex! Or your friend um... I can’t remember his name but that’s not the point. I’m playing at this club tonight and I know it’s a bit short notice but I get off early today so I was wondering maybe you fancied coming along? Bring your friends if you like, it’s gonna be a right laugh. Call me back, bye!” He saved the message and allowed himself to feel a bit excited, that was exactly what he needed, some mindless partying and drinking to clear his head. 

Suddenly, the phone rang. Before Damon could answer Alex had snatched it as soon as it had started ringing, he had seemingly appeared out of nowhere and was already dressed. Sure enough, it was Kat. Damon was happy Alex had found someone, he doubted it would last long though and he couldn’t help but feel a little jealous of his heterosexuality. A few minutes later Alex was standing in the door of his room.  
“So do you fancy going out tonight?”  
“Yeah alright, should I ask Dave and Gra if they want to come too?”  
“Yeah why not, Kats sister and her boyfriend own the place so well probably be able to get free drinks or something… maybe.” Damon forced himself to be excited, telling himself that he’d love it when he got there and that ll the had to do was keep his hands of Graham. Easy… right?


	8. Strobelight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HI GUYS!!! I’m really sorry this took ages to update, I had a bitch of a writers block but anyways. For reference Kats full name is Katherine Lydia Cracker. Thankyou all so much for the nice comments and kudos, they really do make my day <3\. -R

It didn’t take long to find the right place, the massive neon sign saying ‘STROBELIGHT!’ in glowing rainbow letters wasn’t exactly subtle. Even though they were still outside they could hear the muffled beat of the music and from what little the could see of the inside, the club was definitely living up to the name strobelight. When they got in, Damon and Dave ordered some drinks and Alex went to find Kat, Graham tagging along with him.

Having to shout a bit to be heard over the thumping music, Dave said to the singer,  
“Y’know I don’t think Alex ever got past puberty.” Damon laughed and looked over at the others, they were talking to Kat, a guy who, in this lighting, looked almost green-ish and a strange looking woman with bright red lipstick and funky sunglasses.  
“He seems really into her, it’ll be good for him. I don’t think she’s the kind of girl to just let him treat her like an object or whatever.”  
“On that subject, I know Alex is being dumb about it but what’s the deal with you and Graham? I’m just curious.” For some reason Damon always seemed to trust the drummer. He wasn’t sure why, he just had a friendly looking face and was probably done of the most genuine guys he knew,, even if he was a pointless piece of ginge. If he was going to be honest about the nature of his and Graham’s relationship with anyone, it was going to be Dave.  
“I really really like him... fuck who am I kidding I love him. And the worst thing is that I think he might love me too. But if people found out... it would change everything. It really shouldn’t do, but it would.”  
“Are you worried that you won’t be accepted?”  
“It’s not that it’s just-“  
“Then what’s the problem? Seriously D, people have seen this coming. Not so much with Graham but definitely you, your not great at playing it straight you know.”  
“I’m not trying to...” Suddenly they heard a loud voice over the speakers, it was Kat, telling a stupid but hilarious joke about Liam Gallaghers bucket hat addiction. The singer was kind of glad she had interrupted him and Dave, thinking too much about his impending doom was depressing, especially here.

Alex came back after a moment with that shifty look in his eyes that he’s terrible at hiding. Graham followed him, dragging his feet and looking like a teenager who’s family had dragged him to some boring event, and honestly, he felt like it too. Damon was a bit confused when Alex shoved his hand out, but then he saw the four white pills in his palm and he understood why he’d been looking so guilty.  
“Where did you manage to get e’s?!” Dave asked, frowning, going into full mum friend mode.  
“That bloke over there dressed like a goth, Kats sister Paula’s boyfriend. He said his name was Murdoc, don’t think it’s his real name though I mean- what kind of a parent names their son Murdoc anyway?”  
“Right if we’re gonna do this, let’s do it now and not make a spectacle of ourselves, ok?” Damon said, deciding to take charge of the situation. They all nodded, Graham somewhat apprehensively, and swallowed the pills together. And that was the start of it, the start of the best and worst night of Damon Albans life so far.

-

In the very corner of Strobelight there’s a cool sort of chair that hangs from the ceiling and swings, this is where the guitarist of Blur thought was a good place to start aggressively making out with the lead singer, practically grinding on his lap. Surprisingly it seemed to work for a minute, until that minute was over and they fell off gracelessly. They started laughing hysterically after they hit the floor, exchanging little kisses and dirty jokes which just fuelled each others giggles.  
“What the actual fuck are you doing?” It was the woman with the red lipstick and sunglasses. She looked way taller than last time Damon had seen her and he gulped when he saw the angry look on her face. Graham got up, still clinging to Damon’s hand.  
“What’s it to you?” He asked, confidence charged by alcohol, drugs and the thrill of being wanted by someone you’ve lusted after for years. “We’re just kissing, what, aren’t people allowed to kiss now? Some world we live in...”  
“I’d hardly call that kissing! You were bloody humping each other!”  
“Who even are you?”  
“Paula fucking Cracker that’s who!” They gave her a confused look, “I literally own this place!”  
“Shit, really?”  
“YES.” She rolled her eyes, arms crossed. “Now I’m not supposed to do this but if you insist on... this, you can go in the back room over there.” 

She gestured towards a disabled toilet with an ‘out of order’ sign on the door.  
“What, a broken toilet?” Graham asked, a confused look on his face.  
“No you dullard, it’s disguised as that so people don’t go nosing around in there!”  
“Smart, thank you Paula Cracker. Cmon Dames!” While he was being dragged towards the room by the collar of his shirt Damon heard Paula mutter that they were both off their tits which he found a bit funny because last time he checked, he didn’t even have tits.

~

Grinning through the kiss, Damon pushed Graham down onto an armchair and sat on his lap, straddling his hips and starting to subtly grind himself against the guitarist.   
“Why must we keep meeting like this, Albarn?” Graham joked, playing the seductive damsel-in-distress character rather well in his opinion. Damon laughed quietly and kissed him on the cheek.  
“Well what did you expect Mr Coxon? Did it never occur to you that I might find your tall dark and handsome-ness incredibly sexy and I just can’t keep my hands off you?”   
“Hmm... I guess not.” Graham chuckled. They continued making out for a short while, growing more and more impatient and... well, horny as time passed.

Reluctantly, Damon broke away from the kiss, smiling when he saw the mock-offended look on the guitarists face.  
“Wait before we... y’know. I was thinking maybe I could- that I could be bottom?” Graham had a less than adequate understanding of the terms top and bottom but he pretty much got the jist. The familiar sensation of panic settled itself in his stomach, panic mixed with arousal... that was a weird combination but one that Graham was used to, much to his annoyance.  
“I’m not sure Dames I-“  
“You better say yes because I’d rather for you to pop my cherry than anyone else. And I- I came prepared...” he pulled out a small bottle of lube from his pocket. Graham’s eyes widened and he started nibbling at his lip anxiously. He was aware that he was worrying over nothing and that he wasn’t going to hurt Damon, and that no one was going to walk in unexpectedly and call them useless fags, and that the singer was sure of himself and trusted Graham enough to tell him to stop if he needed to. However self doubt always found a way to make him get cold feet in this kind of scenario.  
“I’m scared I’ll hurt you...” Graham confessed sheepishly, refusing to make eye contact with the singer.  
“Gra don’t worry about that. If I don’t like it I’ll tell you then we can stop, ok?” Graham was scarcely reassured by Damon’s well-meaning words, but nodded uncertainly and the singer was all over him once again. 

Its easy to get lost in him, the guitarist thought, easy to lose every aspect of yourself while kissing him. Graham could easily let real life float away and fall into the cold blue of his eyes. Maybe let himself become addicted to the way he touched him, the way he made Graham feel like he was worth something and that someone really loved and understood him. Surprisingly he managed to come up with that using only the small amount of brain cells that weren’t screaming at him to get a bloody move on already.

Not long later, Graham was pushing into the singer, being as gentle as he could and frequently checking that what he was doing was still ok with him. The guitarist was being so infuriatingly careful, Damon though he was going to literally explode if he didn’t hurry up a bit. Graham never imagined that their second time would go this way, he had no idea that Damon secretly liked being fucked senseless. All of this being gay stuff was so new to the guitarist but he was determined to embrace it. Nothing he’d ever done sexually had ever felt as right as it did with Damon. He got all the way in, breathing heavily and praying that Damon felt as good as he did. Resting his forehead against the singer’s, eyes closed and lips parted, Graham started to thrust into him as gently as he could. Damon let out a helpless little whimper as the guitarist kissed and bit his neck.  
“You sound so pretty Damon...” Graham said, grinning at how they’d turned the tables.  
“Please gra... you don’t have to be so careful with me reallly I’m fine-“ he was cut of as he gasped when Graham went just a little deeper and found the place inside him that made him lose his absolute shit. Graham shuddered and kept going a little harder than before since he was running out of restraint, especially with those sounds Damon was making.   
“Your so hot Dames... how the fuck am I so lucky. Like- no offence but I did not think you’d be the type to fancy guys n’ all that gay stuff. Hey do you remember that time with those cows?”  
“Shut up.”  
“Right. Sorry, nerves.” Damon chuckled and placed a warm palm on the guitarists flushed cheek, stroking comfortingly.   
“Don’t worry love, you’re not going to hurt me. But can you... y’know. Because I’m actually horny as fuck and I have been for ages so maybe you should uh... get a shimmy on?”

~

The guitarist loved how scruffy and adorable Damon looked as they left, his hair was sticking out everywhere and he had a sort of dazed look on his face. Graham just couldn’t resist him and kissed him quickly on the lips, getting a sheepish grin in return. The singer grabbed his hand.  
“Cmon!”  
“What’re you doing?”  
“Let’s go have a dance.” Graham rolled his eyes but obliged, following Damon over to the dance floor. Graham cringed when the singer started jumping around like crazy disco freak to I Hate Myself For Loving You by Joan Jett.   
“Whats the matter gra, you scared?”   
“I’m not scared! It’s just-“ Graham stiffened as Damon held his waist and started moving them both from side to side.  
“No ones watching... really.” The guitarist was still a bit uncomfortable but he very much did want to dance with the singer, and he was quite persuasive.

After a couple of songs Graham was as into it as Damon was, holding his hands and singing along as they danced. Everything was a bit fuzzy round the edges in Graham’s eyes and he felt all sort of woozy. Before he knew it, Damon had capture his mouth in a seemingly desperate kiss, making him sigh. It was as if nothing in the world mattered except them, as if the rest of the room just melted away as they kissed. Although he wouldn’t admit it, Graham absolutely loved when Damon took control, when his tongue explored his mouth and he held him so tightly.

What happened next they’d both been dreading. Graham pulled away as soon as he heard the camera and rushed out before he was asked any questions. Damon spun around and his face fell when he saw the shocked looking reporter holding a camera. He flipped her off and didn’t answer any of the questions being thrown at him and went after Graham. This was bad. Really really bad.


	9. Controversy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is such a short chapter but u really wanted to update the story. Hope you enjoy the angst but I had to make it dumb and fluffy because that’s just the way it isssssss. Anyways bye -R
> 
> Comments and kudos are appreciated <3

The alleyway outside the building was cold and dark and wet. Graham found it almost pathetic, how the weather almost correlated with his emotions. He had a lump in his throat and tears in his eyes, letting them out for once. He walked fast, not knowing where he was going but needing to get away. He felt like he was about to be sick. He couldn’t think. He couldn’t breath. He stopped and looked up at the pitch-dark sky, rain falling on his face and mixing with his tears. Now was as good of a time as he’d ever get to finally break, he’d been hanging on by a thread ever since he and Damon had been an object. It was as if as soon as he finally felt happy, finally felt loved, everything just got too much. He sat down against a wall, head feeling it was about to explode. He clutched the hair at the back of his head and hugged his knees to his chest. Sobbing quietly. He didn’t even notice Damon’s footsteps running towards him.

“Graham!” He shouted when he saw the guitarist in the state he was in. He almost felt like crying too, but was determined to keep it together for Graham. “Oh my god Gra, please... don’t cry. It’s alright.” He reached over to hug Graham but he flinched away, looking up with shimmering eyes. His cheeks were blotchy from crying and the dark circles under his eyes were more prominent than they usually seemed to be. Damon’s face fell when he saw the guitarist.  
“Damon we can’t do this anymore! You do realise we have to deny this, right? And before you fucking argue with me, yes it’s painful, yes it’s a massive lie that I’m not embarrassingly in love with you, but we can’t- we can’t... we just can’t.”  
“Graham please... don’t do this. We don’t have to hide, it might be difficult or controversial but all that matters is we love each other!” Damon said, voice cracking and tears brimming in his eyes. 

The singer was relieved beyond words when Graham allowed him to take his hand. After a long moment Damon slouched against the wall next to him, sliding down so that he was sitting. He reached into the pocket of his jacket for a cigarette.  
“I know I’m trying to quit to but could really have a fag right now…”  
“Well I think we’ve established that you can uh… have me whenever you like.” Damon joked handing his lit cigarette to the guitarist.  
“Not that kind of fag Dames.” Graham rolled his eyes, pretending he didn’t find Damon at least a little bit funny.  
“Well this is rubbish isn’t it.”  
“Yeah, it is.”  
The silence that followed was surprisingly comfortable, almost as if the air between them wasn’t practically buzzing with the things they’d left unsaid.

“I wrote a song about you.” Damon said bluntly, not looking at Graham.”  
“You did?”  
“Yeah. If we ever were to like- release it or whatever I’d have to change all the he’s to she’s for uh… obvious reasons.” Graham sighed, he wasn’t really thinking about anything in particular but simultaneously his brain was in overdrive. He was either having an unusually long panic attack or he was really really REALLY drunk, probably both.  
“Whats it called?”  
“Whats what called?”  
“The song you knob.”  
“Oh um…” Damon cringed a little. “Its called Beetlebum.” He mumbled.  
“Beetlebum.”  
“Yeah.”  
“Im making an effort not to be insulted here…”  
“No! It’s a nice song saying nice things about you. I’m not calling you a bum.” Graham laughed, hating himself for still loving the singer. Damon jumped up, holding a hand out for the guitarist. Graham got up and stamped on the cigarette, putting it out.  
“No point being a grump, we’ll do whatever your comfortable with ok?” Damon said, trying to make light of the situation and telling a tiny little white lie.  
“Yeah well, in the end pessimists will outlive the optimists.” Damon roles his eyes.  
“Your such an existentialist you are.” Graham winked at him jokingly. He genuinely felt a lot cheerier.  
“Never doubt it babes.” The guitarist said, putting on his best chav voice.

Damon wasn’t a very good liar, but he could pull off a pretty good fib when it mattered. As they walked away, the fact that they weren’t holding hands was undeniably very loud. Most of him felt like he was being a terrible terrible friend to Graham but, truthfully, a small part of him felt like a badass. He had an idea that almost definitely wasn’t going to work but holy fuck would it be cool.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed! Leave a comment and tell me what you thought :)


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